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New research from Creditspring found that while nearly two thirds (65%) of people believe couples should talk about money before moving in together, only one in ten (11%) actually did so themselves.
Whether it's debt, spending habits or financial goals, avoiding these conversations can create misunderstandings and unnecessary stress later on. The good news is that financial compatibility isn't about earning the same salary – it's about being open, honest and working together.
Why money conversations happen later than they should
Many couples reach major relationship milestones before discussing their finances.
Our research found:
65% believe couples should discuss money before moving in together
Yet only 11% actually discussed their salaries before taking that step
Just 9% talked about earnings during the first few dates
Only 5% discussed salaries before getting engaged
Four in ten (41%) say financial compatibility is just as important as romantic compatibility
Despite recognising how important money is, many people admit these conversations simply don't happen until much later in a relationship.
Why we're still hiding our finances
For some people, money feels deeply personal. Others worry that admitting financial struggles could change how their partner sees them.
It's perhaps no surprise, then, that many people admit they've kept aspects of their finances private. Around one in five have hidden savings, used credit without telling a partner or avoided talking about money altogether. More than a quarter (27%) say they've spent more than they could afford while in a relationship, while almost a quarter have lied about or hidden purchases.
Perhaps most tellingly, 39% say they'd feel embarrassed admitting they were struggling financially.
Trust matters more than debt
Interestingly, the research suggests debt itself isn't necessarily the biggest issue.
Most people (60%) say they'd be more concerned if a partner hid debt than if they simply had debt. Similarly, while 27% would worry if their partner avoided a money conversation because it felt awkward, one in five admit they've done exactly that themselves.
It shows that honesty, not financial perfection, is what really builds trust
The money issues most likely to cause relationship tension
Not every disagreement is about debt. The research found the biggest financial flashpoints for couples include impulse purchases (18%), lending money to friends or family (18%), bills and household costs (17%), and one partner spending more than the other (15%).
Many of these challenges can become easier to manage when expectations are discussed early, before frustration builds.
Tamsin Powell, Consumer Finance Expert at Creditspring, says, "Money is tied up with security and self-worth, so it is understandable that couples can put these conversations off. But debt or financial struggles do not automatically damage a relationship – what tends to cause the real harm is finding out that something has been hidden. People do not need identical salaries to feel financially compatible. What matters more is honesty, shared goals and feeling like you're making financial decisions together."
Five ways to make money conversations easier
1. Talk about your goals, not just your salary
Instead of focusing on how much each person earns, discuss what you're both working towards. Whether it's saving for a home, travelling or paying off debt, shared goals create a stronger starting point.
2. Start with the next big decision
You don't need to reveal every financial detail straight away. Focus on the next shared commitment, whether that's moving in together, planning a holiday or splitting household bills.
3. Decide what feels fair
Equal isn't always the same as fair. If one person earns more or has different financial commitments, talk openly about how you'll share costs in a way that works for both of you.
4. Be honest about debt and borrowing
Using credit or carrying debt doesn't define someone. But keeping it hidden can damage trust. Being upfront gives you the chance to make informed decisions together.
5. Get support before money becomes a crisis
If you're struggling financially, don't wait until shared bills become overwhelming. Exploring your options early can help you stay in control and reduce pressure on both your finances and your relationship.
Final thoughts
Money conversations can feel uncomfortable, but they don't have to be perfect.
Creditspring's research shows that couples value honesty far more than identical salaries or financial perfection. Talking openly about spending habits, financial goals and any challenges you're facing can help build trust and prevent bigger problems down the line.
After all, financial compatibility isn't about having exactly the same bank balance. It's about making sure you're working towards the same future together.
